One of the main things I wanted in my marriage was to have someone to take care of and who would take care of me. Ex was not that man. He didn't want me to cook, clean, or do his laundry. Before we got married, I did all three. After marriage, he wanted no part of me.
I mean, if someone offered to do my laundry, I would jump all over that! But no, he wanted to do his own. I wanted to do it because I thought it was a way to show him I loved him and wanted to take care of him. I guess that is why he wouldn't let me.
Ex was very passive-aggressive. I would clean the house and then he would go in and clean the clean bathroom that same day. He would never clean it even when I purposely let it get dirty just to see if he was playing the game I thought he was playing.
Sure enough, the cleanliness of the bathroom had nothing to do with when Ex cleaned it. He would just clean it right after I did. I guess to make me feel bad about not cleaning it well enough, even though I obsessed about it in the beginning. He fooled me for a long time. I was a new bride, trying to find ways to take care of my short-tempered husband, and he was batting me down like a cat playing with a mouse.
Once I figured out what he was doing, I stopped worrying about it. For the most part. It still bothered me but I tried not to let it show.
I did his laundry once but he got really mad so I never did it again. There were a lot of things I only did once. I learn quickly.
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Don't make me talk to myself, yo.