I had my therapy session last night and still feel entirely yucky. I told her that there a lot of things I don't tell her and that seems stupid to me. I mean, I pay her to help me figure life out, and if she doesn't have all of the information, how is she supposed to do that? Right?
Things I don't talk to my therapist about:
1) My sex life
2) What my father did to me as a child
3) Some things I'm not even going to write on here
4) Details about life with Ex (She doesn't even know his name. That's how little I talk about him.)
Items 1-4 are important. They affect how I live my life. #2 dictates #1, and had a huge impact on #4. Who knows -- without #2, #4 may not have happened. I need to get these issues resolved and move on with my life, considering that even a concussion-causing car wreck won't have the decency to kill me and end my misery.
She suggested writing things down, which I did last night for a short time. That is why I feel yucky even now. My childhood was a nightmare. Ditto my marriage. Yuck. I feel like throwing up. Now if that isn't yucky, I don't know what is.
I hope you find a release that helps since you can't talk with the therapist about all of your past.
ReplyDeleteAnd, yes, throwing up is yuckier than anything I can imagine. I hate the feeling when I can even feel like I'm about to do so.
I wrote some stuff down, but my appointment is in less than an hour and I don't see myself taking it with me...
ReplyDeleteSometimes just writing helps for me...
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