M is for Mom

On our second date, Ex and I went to see a movie and then to Steak N’ Shake for a late snack. It was snowing and we sat in the warm restaurant and talked for a very long time. It was not normal second date conversation; we talked about kids, our plans for the future, our relationships with our families, and other serious topics.

Ex told me that his mother was a real bitch. He said she was mean and hateful and that she was not only a horrible mother but a horrible person as well. I was shocked. Huge red flag. I think Ex saw the look on my face because he changed the topic immediately.

                                    

The next date, Ex’s tune had changed dramatically. Now he loved his mother and told me stories about how he had been a difficult child and that she was a saint to put up with him.

He went to visit her shortly thereafter and came back raving about how great she was. I stupidly decided the huge red flag was just the result of a bad day for Ex and chose to believe the new Ex instead.

                            

Every time we saw Ex’s mom, he would treat her with the utmost respect – opening doors for her, pulling out her chair, giving her hugs, and carrying on lovely conversations with her. He channeled his anger towards her directly at me. Ex never treated me more badly then when his mom was in town or when he had just seen her.

One time when he had just returned from visiting her, he started yelling at me and called me “mom”. He swore that it never happened but it did. Several times, in fact. Just an example of him getting mad at me for something that had nothing to do with me. Oh, how I wish I had paid more attention to that red flag.

                         

I should have put this under "F is for Flag".