Tuesday, May 22, 2012

N is for Naked

I have a very high libido. Ex had a very low libido.

I was a virgin when we got married. Ex had slept with three women.

 I love sex. Ex didn’t.

See a problem here?
 I used to think that Ex’s willingness to wait for sex meant that he loved me. I used to believe Ex when he would whisper promises of passionate nights for “years and years”. I could not wait for our wedding night when we would finally consummate our love.

We had sex four times that first night. And then nothing for four days.
I was crushed. I felt utterly rejected. Ex said he was tired. Later, he told me he had been mad at me and didn’t like me, so why would he want to have sex with me?

At the beginning of the marriage, I would try to initiate sex. I had been a loyal Cosmo reader and knew that the majority of guys wanted their partners to initiate sex, and I wanted to be a great partner, so I did.


I would lie in bed naked, waiting for him to come in, tell me goodnight, and then notice I was naked.

 Sometimes that worked. If Ex was in a decent mood, he loved it. If not, which was most of the time, it irritated him and he wouldn’t talk to me for days. And I do mean days. Ex was really hard to read at first, so I could never tell what his reaction would be.

 It didn’t take long before I stopped trying. I learned my lessons well. No more Naked Me waiting in bed for my loving, horny husband. I didn’t have one.


  1. My ex/bff/frenemy, it's hard to tell, is still "technically" a virgin. I was with him for 5 years. So many issues there.

    I also think that you should start reading Savage Love, the advice column by Dan Savage. He has so many very no-nonsense, no-BS, sex-positive ideas. Just google the column and start reading.

  2. I love Savage Love! Have been reading him for years. Very educational :)


Don't make me talk to myself, yo.

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