Wednesday, September 19, 2012

I is for Insulin

This is a hard one to write. Some things still hurt worse than others...

When I met Ex, his mom had a dog who was very old and about to die. Technically, she was Ex's dog, but he had not been able to care for her and his mom wanted to keep her when he moved, so I didn't think much about him not stepping up to care for his dog. I hate calling her "the dog" but, even if I was using real names here, the poor girl's real name was so stupid. Ex named her after his friend's girlfriend. Weird, much?

I will call her Heart, because she was all heart.
Anyway, Heart was diabetic and on death's door when Ex and I got married. Ex and his mom decided that the desert climate was too hard on Heart, so they decided that she should come and live with me and Ex. I was thrilled - I love dogs.

Heart needed a lot of attention. She needed insulin shots twice a day, twelve hours apart, which required great planning on my part. She ate special food that had to be purchased at the vet, and also, of course, needed to go on walks. I did everything for her. We became fast friends and I spent a lot of time with Heart. Ex patted her on the head every other day or so.
Then came the day that she started having seizures. I don't want to get into it here. Suffice to say, Heart's seizures became rapidly worse and, in a matter of days, they were uncontrollable and she had to be put down. Ex wouldn't go in the room with her; he would have let her die alone. I held her and told her what a wonderful friend she was and then, once she was dead, just cried and cried.
I'm crying now. Heart was my only friend at the time. Ex had fairly efficiently isolated me from everyone, and Heart was my only companion. She was the only one happy to see me when I got home. I still miss her so much.

So this rather long post is in honor of Heart, the greatest friend I could have had at the time. She shall forever be loved and missed. I will always be grateful for her friendship during my darkest days.

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