Wednesday, October 3, 2012

N is for No

There are a ton of words that start with N. I could list them all here and have a nice, easy story for today. A nice, easy story that means nothing. There's another N word for you.

But the one word that keeps pounding in my head is "no". A simple little word. One of the first words babies learn. Two consecutive letters of the alphabet. defines "no" as "a negative used to express dissent, denial, or refusal, as in response to a question or request". Such a difficult explanation for such a simple little word.
So, I already gave you the dictionary's definition of the word. Most of you, however, probably are also aware that "no means no".

I could go on forever about the word "no" or I could get to the point of the story. I'm really tempted to just keep talking about no. But no, that is cheating.
Purely hypothetical situation (because that is the only way it will come out)....let's pretend that two people are married. Say that one of those two people has just returned home from visiting his mother. Imagine that the other one was happy to see him. Now pretend the two people are having long-time-no-see-sex.

Let's pretend that it had been months since they had had sex and the wife was dying of loneliness and thoroughly enjoying the sex. The husband began to get rougher and rougher. The wife, having been bottled up for so long, did not mind but was, frankly, getting a little scared. The husband was considerably larger than the wife, known for violent mood swings, and starting to get a bit violent in bed.

This is fun to pretend. Not really.

I can't believe I'm telling you this. I just told my therapist a few weeks ago. Before that, no one in the world but me and Ex knew. And one of us didn't care.

Back to the story. This is hard. Let's just say the wife was scared, the husband was getting far too rough for things to be fun anymore, and then the husband did something that should only be done in the most gentle and loving and consensual of manners. Use your imagination. Talk about pain. The husband didn't stop even after the wife started screaming "No!" and clawing at the foot of the bed. He finally quit. The wife bled for five days.
Don't tell anybody. No.


  1. I'm trying to guess how soon I will chicken out and delete this. I'm going to try not to. We'll see, right?

    1. I'm sure it was hard to share this story, but I'm glad you are out of that relationship.

      No does mean no and, though I'm sure your thoughts of missing him will continue, this was a big reason not to be married to him anymore.

    2. Would you believe I never thought of that as being a reason to not be married to him anymore? That's how bad the rest of it was - for this (and the fact that I am pretty sure he cheated on me) not to factor in the decision to finally leave.

      Thank you for your support.

  2. I think you're very brave for sharing this, even if you ultimately decide to take it down.

    I hope you don't take this to diminish what happened to you, which is a horrendous, but more women (and men) than you might think have a story, or stories, like this. I know I do. But I do truly believe that it is only through confronting what happened and, when we can, being honest about what happened, can we start to change things.

    You are brave and strong and amazing.

    1. Thanks to you and your support, I'm planning to leave it up. Although I do plan to bury it in new posts. :)


Don't make me talk to myself, yo.

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