Monday, November 18, 2013

J is for Justify

I don't have to justify my actions. My business is my business. I was talking to someone I considered a friend (oops) and she told me I need to get over things and move on and not get stuck in therapy.

Excuse me? Talk about the pot calling the kettle black! This woman is in her sixties, has been in therapy for over five years, and all the stuff she is working on is from her childhood. I would never dream of telling her to "get over it", even though she has been in therapy WAY longer than I have, her trauma was WAY longer ago than mine was, and she hasn't moved on, either.
My trauma in a nutshell: sexual and emotional abuse by father, allowed by mother. Met and married a wonderful man; he turned out to be a sociopath. Older sister got mad because she thought I said something mean and stopped talking to me for over a year, in which I was also not allowed to see my nephews. Then got kicked out of house by sociopathic ex, got divorced, flunked out of dental school, appealed, got back in, flunked out AGAIN.
My friend (a real friend, not the one mentioned above) had been to the dentist recently and she brought her x-rays for a second opinion. From me. She didn't tell me what the dentist said because she didn't want me to be swayed by his diagnosis. I told her what I thought and she said "Damn. That's exactly what the dentist said."
I am so good at diagnosing from x-rays, making things in lab, etc. My old classmates would work in the lab for hours upon hours and still fail the practical. I would do it three or four times and pass with flying colors.

And then I flushed it all down the toilet. I don't have to justify my depression to anyone. Anyone who thinks I should just "get over it" is an idiot and doesn't deserve to be in my life. See ya!

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Don't make me talk to myself, yo.

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