Thursday, November 21, 2013

L is for Listen

Ex was a wonderful listener. We went out to play pool on our first date, but we didn't end up playing many games. I think we played two games and then we just stood there, leaning on our pool cues, talking and talking. I don't usually talk a whole lot, and rarely opened up to anyone. Ex was different. He was easy to talk to. He listened. He shared. He cared.
A few weeks after that first date, Ex came over and handed me a book. "Atlas Shrugged" is a book I had always wanted to read, and I had mentioned it to Ex in one of our lengthy conversations. I didn't make a big deal about it; we were just talking about books we had read and I happened to mention wanting to read it. From that insignificant conversation snippet, he not only remembered, but he went to the bookstore and bought me a copy.
Making things even more meaningful was the fact that he went to the used bookstore. This was another thing I had mentioned to him. I like thrift stores, used book stores, and reusing things rather than throwing them away and buying new things. Ex really understood me.

I still have that book. It hurts to look at now, because it is a reminder that Ex was hiding his true nature before we got married. I just wonder why, since he had already faked it for two years, he couldn't just continue to be nice. Or at least not mean. I was married for life; I didn't even require him to be nice. Just decent enough to live with. He couldn't even do that for me.

*Side note: this is harder to think about than all of the rotten things Ex did during our marriage. I miss the man Ex was before we got married.

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Don't make me talk to myself, yo.

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