U is for Understand

I get it now. I have been overly moody, irritable, sad, weepy, and not been able to get out of bed lately. I thought it was due to the issues with my therapist, which I still believe play a big part in my mood, but I just had a revelation. I understand now.
                                         
In six days, it will have been six years since Ex and I said "I do." Six years is a long time, yo. Which means we have been divorced for four years. Yes, I was only married to Ex for two years and ten days. Yay, me. I still think I would have been better off if I had stayed with him, not that I really had any choice, considering he kicked me out of the house, refused to speak to me, and then called eleven days after I left, asking what we were going to do about our taxes, since we were getting divorced.
                                           
June has historically been hard for me.

• June 19, 2008: Wedding Day
• June 25, 1975: Ex's birthday
• June 29, 2010: Divorce Day

It seems like there is something else, too, but I can't remember, and making a concerted effort to remember trauma has never been my thing. This year, June snuck up on me. I didn't see it coming. I didn't know it was already here. At least I understand why I haven't been able to get up lately. I'll try to be nicer to myself for the next few weeks. I am my own worst enemy.