Friday, June 13, 2014

U is for Understand

I get it now. I have been overly moody, irritable, sad, weepy, and not been able to get out of bed lately. I thought it was due to the issues with my therapist, which I still believe play a big part in my mood, but I just had a revelation. I understand now.
In six days, it will have been six years since Ex and I said "I do." Six years is a long time, yo. Which means we have been divorced for four years. Yes, I was only married to Ex for two years and ten days. Yay, me. I still think I would have been better off if I had stayed with him, not that I really had any choice, considering he kicked me out of the house, refused to speak to me, and then called eleven days after I left, asking what we were going to do about our taxes, since we were getting divorced.
June has historically been hard for me.
  • June 19, 2008: Wedding Day
  • June 25, 1975: Ex's birthday
  • June 29, 2010: Divorce Day
It seems like there is something else, too, but I can't remember, and making a concerted effort to remember trauma has never been my thing. This year, June snuck up on me. I didn't see it coming. I didn't know it was already here. At least I understand why I haven't been able to get up lately. I'll try to be nicer to myself for the next few weeks. I am my own worst enemy.


  1. Replies
    1. I hope so! I have spent the past few June months in bad shape, so almost forgetting this one is a good sign, I think. Although then the grumpy snuck up on me. Hopefully this knowledge will help :)

  2. Wow I know you feel. June of 2013 was when it started for me. I understand the not being able to get out of bed part too. How can people do this to others.
    Hang in there. I am adding you to my morning prayer list.

    1. What is it with June?!?

      I will say, I am better now. At least I get in bed in the first place. I spent about a year sleeping on the floor in front of the couch. Then I slept on the couch for about two years. I'm finally back in bed...

      Thank you for adding me to your prayer list. I don't believe that helps anymore, but the thought is comforting. (I hope that doesn't sound rude. I am very grateful.)


Don't make me talk to myself, yo.

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