Tuesday, July 24, 2012

Y is for Year

June 16, 2012 - I left Ex three years ago for two weeks because I was too scared to go home.

June 25, 2012 - Ex turned 37 years old.

July 19, 2012  - Should have been our fourth anniversary.

July 29, 2012 - Our divorce has been final exactly two years.

August 14, 2012 - It has been four years since our honeymoon.

This time of year is hard for me. A lot went down between June 16 and August 14. I was thinking it was only one month until now, because, as I am typing, it is clearly two, not one, month. I think that last sentence wins the prize for shortest sentence to contain five commas...
It has been hard lately. I have been told to be nice to myself and give myself a bit of a break because of all the anniversaries that are happening. But I am my own worst enemy. I am not nice to myself. Not at all. No one (okay, no one except for my dad and Ex) have ever said anything as horrible as I say to myself. I feel I should be improving and working on things and becoming a stronger, better person. Instead, I come home from work and do nothing. And I do mean nothing.

Look how many years have passed! When will I get over this? How long will the pain be so sharp?

This time of year is not good for me. It has been five days since my anniversary. It is five days until the anniversary of my divorce.

I want to cry.

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Don't make me talk to myself, yo.

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