Wednesday, May 29, 2013

Z is for Zest

I don't know what has happened to me. I have no zest for life anymore. I miss feeling happy. I miss feeling sad. I miss feeling. If you have read much of this blog, you know that a lot of bad things have happened lately. And not-so-lately. I've been in therapy since February, 2012 and currently feel that I am going backwards.
Before, taking two steps forward and two steps back didn't rob me of my zest for life. But then I lost my purpose, and then I lost my drive, and now I've lost my feelings. I would say I can't live like this much longer but that would be false. I'm not really living now. I exist. That is all. I breathe. I can't exist like this much longer.

My therapy group disbanded and now I'm stuck with either no group or trauma group, neither of which is appealing to me. I'm seriously considering just quitting therapy altogether. If I feel this crummy with all of the therapy and all of the medication, why bother?

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Don't make me talk to myself, yo.

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