Sunday, December 29, 2013

A is for Afghan


I feel like typing this in all upper case today. But that is hard to read and sounds like yelling. I want to yell. This subject bothers me.
Here is a picture of Ex sitting on the couch, wrapped up all nice and warm in the afghan my mom made for us. He loved that afghan and would spend most of the winter on the couch, on unemployment from getting fired from his latest job, snuggled up in the afghan. He rarely shared with me. Who am I kidding? I never tried to share. Like a dog that has been kicked too many times, I had stopped trying to snuggle with him or get any sign of affection at all. There was none.
I think my sister and her family still see Ex. My older sister, to clarify. The one who stopped speaking to me for over a year because of her messed up thinking. Yeah, that one. They were here a few days after Christmas and I swear my nephew whispered something about Aunt Marcy and Uncle Ex. My sister frowned and shook her head violently; my little nephew looked at me and bit his lip. A few months ago, I was at their house, hanging out in the backyard while my brother-in-law grilled. My little nephew said "I'm related to everyone in my family except..." and then stopped talking abruptly and gave me a look.
Am I just paranoid? I'm curled up in my afghan now, wondering. I almost left the brown afghan for Ex. I have several others and knew he would enjoy it and get more use out of it. Luckily, I came to my senses before leaving and took it with me. Ex didn't deserve the mud on my shoe. He had better not be messing with my family. I'm afraid to ask them because if they do still see him, I don't think I would be able to be around them anymore, and I really love my nephews. What a mess.


  1. Talking to myself, yo. This is driving me crazy. I want to ask. I want to know. What if Ex visits them regularly? What if they let him in their lives? I know he used to be welcome in their home, even after the divorce. WTF. <-- I don't normally use profanity in this blog but it seems to be the best way to describe the feeling of wondering if your older sister is betraying you. Do I ask?

  2. I added a picture of Ex in "M is for Mountain". I thought it was appropriate. I may be putting even more pictures in this blog. It used to nearly kill me to look at his pictures. Now it is just a sick feeling. Please check out his picture. I wish I would have added it when I wrote the post but I wasn't strong enough even then.

  3. This makes me so angry. I can't believe they'd still keep in contact. I might have to kick some serious rear for you. >:(

    1. The problem is, though, that I don't know. I have deep suspicions, but no firm evidence. I don't think asking would be a good idea, because if they do still see him, I don't think I could stand it.


Don't make me talk to myself, yo.

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