Sunday, December 8, 2013

R is for Roses

It took me a long time to be able to write about this. No one knows. Until now, that is...

We had just barely started dating when Ex asked me to go to his cousin's wedding in Colorado. I told him I didn't think I could afford it, so I wasn't sure I could go. Really, I just didn't know him well enough and thought it was too soon to travel with him. Ex decided this meant that I was going with him, so when the time came and I didn't go, Ex got really upset. He thought I was dumping him, even though we had been going out for over five months.
Ex came home from the wedding and didn't talk to me for almost two weeks. This was back when I was still independent and didn't have the self-esteem of a slug, so I didn't really worry about it. When Ex asked me out to dinner, I said yes and thought nothing of it.

During dinner, Ex confessed that he went on a date during that week of silence. I got mad and dumped him on the spot. Again, this was back when I was smart.

So Ex showed up at my house the next day. He had bought a guitar and taught himself how to play "Open the Door to Your Heart" and brought dozens of huge, beautiful red roses. I made him stand outside, and can still clearly remember him propping the door open with one knee while singing and playing clumsily, while trying not to cry. Then he cried.
Told me how he thought I didn't love him anymore, and how hopeless he felt, and how he had never met anyone like me before, with such a capacity to love. Told me how sorry he was, and how stupid it had been, and that nothing but a dinner had happened, and that he loved me more than life itself. Told me that he wanted to be with me forever. All but proposed.
You all know I ended my era of being smart right then, and took him back. This was the one and only time Ex ever bought me flowers. I've never been one for flowers, but now I hate red roses. They remind me that I had escaped Ex, only to take him back when he came crawling. Stupid.

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