Tuesday, December 17, 2013

U is for Upset

I am writing this post under pressure, because I took an Ambien so I can sleep and not cry myself to sleep. Again. So I have approximately 20 minutes before I either pass out or start doing really weird things.

 I will tell you all what happend and fill in the details later.I was at work at my lowly grocery store deli clerk job when I looked up and saw "Stephen"cruising towards me with an "I want a sandwich" look on his face. I told my coworker tnat
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[Um, what? This, my friends, is what happens when one takes Ambien and types. Not a good plan, yo. Who is this mysterious "Stephen"? What is "tnat" and "//////////////////"? I most definitely should delete it but at first I found it very funny. Now I find it terribly sad. Either way, it made a clear statement: my life is unlivable at this moment. Things can get so bad so fast that the only way to cope is to drug myself into oblivion.

What did happen was that I was working at the deli and looked up to see this guy from dental school cruising the produce section. Luckily, I saw him first, so I went in the back and hid. I'm pretty sure he didn't see me. At some point, however, I'm going to have to face someone, whether it be a student or old professor, while I'm working at the deli. My therapist says I need to radically accept the situation. I refuse to accept that I work in a deli when I was well on my way to becoming a dentist.
                
I already have to deal with people who knew me when I worked there three years ago, asking what happened to dental school. I tell them it wasn't for me. This is true. It was beyond the scope of my capabilities at the given time. I can barely work 30 hours at the stupid deli without being completely exhausted. I can't do this much longer.]

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Don't make me talk to myself, yo.

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