I try not to be an idiot but it's hard sometimes. Dude wants to meet at a nearby dive bar and talk. Or come over. Um...let me think about this. Yeah, no. He keeps texting me and I keep telling him no. I'm sorry I'm a good listener and you have no one else in your life to talk to. I'm sorry you were such an ass last time you came over. I'm sorry I was wrong and you aren't the cool guy I thought you were. I'm sorry I ever met you.
What an idiot. Don't come over here and tell me how much you want to sleep with a 26-year-old and then expect me to want to see you again. Idiot. I'm stupid, not desperate. Thanks, but no thanks. Idiot. And yet, all I want to do is let him come over and tell me what an idiot he was and how he really likes me and how he was drunk and stupid. I want him to tell me how great I am and how he can't believe how cool I am.
Do I really need this validation from someone like him? Yes, yes, I do. Idiot. Me or him? Both. Well, since we have so much in common, what could it hurt to see him again and hear what he has to say?
I don't think you're an idiot. I do think you're lonely. :( I don't judge you for that. At all. Just be careful, please. I love you.
ReplyDeleteJ
Thanks for the kind words. I try to be happy all by my lonesome but that's what it is - lonesome. I met him out last night and he spent the whole night talking to people he used to work with. Not me. At least I gave him the benefit of doubt. And now I know.
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