Sunday, April 27, 2014

B is for Breath

I have been experiencing shortness of breath lately. My older sister had a work engagement in my town last night, so I took her out to dinner. We had a good time, and when we got back to my place, stood in my front yard and talked for almost an hour. I don't remember why it came up, because we don't normally talk about serious things, but I told her I used to get scared when Ex came home from out of town.

"Really?" She was incredulous. She says her husband is abusive and yet could not imagine being scared of him. Yes, Sister, really. Now tell me some more about your horrible husband...
I have been stuck in therapy lately, so my therapist suggested I write things down and bring them in. I wrote things down and then left it at home. So when I got back home from my last appointment, I asked her if I could email it to her, which she said yes to, and I did, and she immediately read, and now my appointment is tomorrow and I am experiencing shortness of breath.
Chest pain, shortness of breath, headache, and nausea. I wrote stuff about Ex. I wrote stuff about my childhood. I wrote stuff about my sex life. And I gave it to her. What the hell was I thinking?


  1. Good luck when you see the therapist. Deep breathes and slow exhales. Deep breathes and slow exhales.

  2. Thanks for the support. I regressed about 22 years and cried and cried and cried. Didn't hardly talk at all. Hid in pillows and wept. It didn't make me feel any better, but it did make it harder to control my emotions these past few days. Deep breathing helps a lot. Thanks for the reminder.

    1. Sorry! I know that for me when the flood gates are opened, it's hard to stop the tears and then I hate that I am crying and then I cry more. Not that that is encouragement, but at least you know that you are not alone in crying. Did a lot of it this week.

    2. I hate that that makes me feel better... But thanks for helping me not feel so alone. I'm like you; I get mad that I'm crying and cry more. Hate that! Hope you don't get any new reasons to cry and have a really good week.


Don't make me talk to myself, yo.

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