Sunday, July 6, 2014

D is for Dreams

I have had series of nightmares for my entire life. They rotate; the rotation starts off as memorable dreams that are only slightly disturbing. I will "remember" running into someone I don't like at the store, or something minor like that. Then they get worse. Memories of my childhood home. I was scared of the door leading from the house to the garage, and I will dream that, no matter how hard I pull, I can't get the door to close all the way, and there is something on the other side that is going to come and hurt me.
                         
When I went to see the energy healer, she asked me about my dreams. I told her they start out mild and progress to those that wake me up screaming and crying. I said this very calmly. It is part of my life and has been for as long as I can remember, and it isn't a big deal to me anymore. She looked at me with sorrowful eyes and told me she was sorry that life has been so hard.
                        
That almost made me cry. I am generally okay until someone else feels sorry for me, and then I want to join them in their pity of me and bawl. No, my life has not been easy. No, not a lot of good things have gone on. Yes, a lot of bad things have gone down. I don't want to do this anymore.

Last night, I dreamt of nothing. It was nice.

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Don't make me talk to myself, yo.

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